lack of sleep??? nah i never think more clearly.

WARNING LONG RANDOM POST AHEAD:(may consist of run-on sentences and word vomit)

i stayed up ALLLLL night. something i haven't done in a long time, the last time i did was the last time i felt this same feeling. i have been feeling it building for a while but it usually doesn't hit me like it did tonight. and maybe its the birds chirping and the sun coming up over the mountains that makes me see things for what they really are. i have no room to complain, i have so much and  i really am grateful, i just can't seem to turn what i have into anything useful.

for a while there i was freaking out about my job, it was alright pay i loved the people i worked with, and i loved seeing clients everyday but lets face it, it wasn't thought provoking at all, i didn't even have to think all day i could just surf the web and chat on facebook ALLL Day. And i had thought of looking else where for a job for a while, but i never actually did. i am lame. but apparently the man pulling the strings upstairs decided that i needed a change of pace, a change of scenery. Phat Lashes closed down, i found out that my job was gone on a Monday, my last day??? Friday the same week. But i didn't have time to focus on myself and that was a good thing because i would have seriously lost it. I spent the week stressing over client list, backstabbing, and careers that were at stake. and to top it off i could no longer afford eyelashes or nails. please they were the first to go, so fast forward to a week later and i am alone with no job, my skin was a mess from stress, and my eyelashes were gone, (and not just the fake ones... my real ones.) who i saw in the mirror was a teenage boy.

but when one door slams you in the face and stubs your toe and breaks your spirit a better one is always opened and i am truly grateful for that. i am now working at The Diamond Gallery and i am completely lost. i know nothing about diamonds, or rings, or jewelery other than the fact that i don't ever wear it (getting engaged?? come see me and i'll hook you up!)... and i'll be honest i was terrified every day that i went into work that first week. i didn't even eat or drink or use the bathroom in the 7 hours i was there.... but i find it refreshing to learn things again, to have new challenges and meet new people.(one thing i have learned? a carat diamond looks really good on my finger.) i was stuck and now i am unstuck, haha i am floating in who knows where but i am finding some solid footing.

its funny to me because when i sat down to actually write this i was planning on saying that i was unhappy, i was sinking into a vat of desperation. but actually writing down everything that has happened in the past month has totally changed my feelings, i am not unhappy, yes unsettled, but thats what happens when you get kicked around. so i am in transition.... and thats okay for now. 


other fun things have happened that have been fun though
lins bought a house, its cute and i live there without paying rent... haha i even buy my own groceries to keep there because i am always there!!! i even have a drawer and toothbrush.
i spent a LONG weekend in park city although i lost my new camera.... and all the cute pictures of my being
'wintery'
we went to the jason aldean concert this weekend so fun!!
and i get to go hear one of my best friends Shalese give her farewell talk today...words can't describe how much i love this girl, and yet i don't think i have talked with her more than a hand full of times since high school.
school is going well i might actually get some b's and a's this semester... 
life is so random that way!!!

                                                 (this is my first picture WITH mascara...Sad)