Just Jordan

When I think that my whole world is crashing down around me and that I don't know who I am or what I want to be or do, I get hit with such a blow that I see the light through all the crap that is my mind. My Grandpa Luthi passed away yesterday and hearing of his passing was very unexpected. When I was younger he was fun and loving but it wasn't until these past few years that I have really gotten to know him. He was funny and so clever and he could always make me smile. He was also genuinely interested in what I was doing, he was so chatty and I loved talking to him about my plans for the future. I will miss him everyday although I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and contemplating his passing has made me re-evaluate my life. Am I doing everything I can so that one day I can be reunited with him? No, but that is about to change because even as I am typing I can feel the reassurance that he is with our Heavenly Father and that he lived a good life and was a good example to his family and friends. But what am I doing??? What I have become is not a person that he would be proud of and that hurts me, so from today I am changing. I am going to try everyday to be the person that he was because he was happy and loving and kind, he is the person that I want to emulate. I love you Grandpa and am looking forward to seeing you again.