exuse me I have lost my mind, have you found it?

This has been an interesting week for me, Summer is leaving me in two days and I am going to be alone on this Island for the rest of the time alone!!! But I will get by because humans are the most adaptive species right?

So Nicky's new thing to say is "Jordan, I've lost my mommy" when she leaves. Its funniest when we are out somewhere because people think that I've kidnapped her... really they give me the stink eye. But last night was a real tear jerker, Mike, Anne Marie and Kelly went to look at a car to buy and me and Nicky stayed home. It was getting late and she was tired so I started to go through the routine of putting her down, we say "goodnight" to everything in the house on the way to her room. But when we got to the stairs she looked at me with little tear filled eyes and lip quivering and said, "Jordan I lost my Mommy and Daddy and my Kel" it was the cutest thing ever!! Although I reminded her where they were and that her Mom would wake her up the next morning a thought occurred to me, who is there in our lives to remind us all is not lost?

I know that there are greater powers in this world and the next that definitely fit into that category, but as we grow older we start to cut out things and people in our lives like you would trim the fat of a steak. But at this time in my life my steak has almost no fat, however I have lost the part that makes it taste good. So now that I have removed the people who were once the guides in my life, I am forced to distinguish not only right and wrong which is hard enough, but who and what is right in my life. It feels like I am about to buy a car, and I can't ask anyones opinion because there is no one to ask. Summer has shown me how lonely and miserable I was at home, not because I didn't have friends but because I was living my life in a closed frame of mind.

I cannot even tell you how great it has been to have Summer here with me, I would have been happy to sit at home every night just because I had no idea what fun you can have by just exploring the world around you. If I have learned anything here in New York its that it doesn't matter what you do, who your with, or what is happening in your life, fun is a state of mind. That's why kids can fall down and cry and five minutes later laugh and run through a bunch of bubbles, because they see what is truly important the good times not the bad.